For Every Student Finding Their Way

8–12 minutes

·

·

I am writing this for a student you know or someone you care about who is figuring out school, college, or the bigger question of who they want to become. If someone comes to mind as you read this, I hope you will send it to them, because sometimes the right message reaches someone at exactly the right moment. A lot of students keep their stress hidden, and they carry weight that adults do not always see. Hearing something honest and encouraging can help them feel steadier about their future and stronger about what they already bring to the table. I am sharing this because I hope it reaches someone who needs reassurance or direction, and I hope the person who receives it realizes that whoever sent it cares about them enough to want them to read it.

Students today are expected to handle pressures that many adults never experienced at their age, and most of that pressure is invisible. You are expected to do well in school, figure out friendships, adjust to new environments, and answer questions about your future before you even know who you are becoming. It is a lot to carry, especially when you feel like you have to look confident even when you are not sure. This is why encouragement matters so much, because a few real words at the right time can help you believe something about yourself that you did not see before. Preparation gives you something solid to hold on to when everything else feels uncertain.

I was reminded of this recently as a parent. Last week my daughter and I visited an Ivy League campus together, and like many students, she walked onto that campus carrying excitement, nerves, hope, and responsibility all at once. A few days later she had her alumni interview, which started as a short conversation but turned into a long, meaningful discussion. She told me afterward that it went really well and that she felt grounded the entire time. Listening to her talk made me realize there was a message in her experience that every student deserves to hear.

Seeing the Moment Clearly

Sometimes life gives you a moment that makes everything click. Hearing my daughter describe her interview was one of those moments. The conversation worked for her not because she tried to perform but because she had been preparing long before she ever sat down. She had taken time to think about her experiences, her values, and the kind of person she wants to become, and that showed in the way she answered questions. It reminded me that preparation builds a kind of steady confidence that cannot be faked.

I do not usually write publicly about my kids because their lives belong to them, not to my work. But this moment touched on something far beyond my family. Many students worry quietly about whether the effort they put in when no one is watching actually matters. When they see other classmates who seem naturally impressive, it can make them doubt their own path. This story is a reminder that the work you do privately shows up in the moments that matter most.

People often talk about confidence like it is something you are born with, but that is rarely true. Real confidence is something you build by practicing how to think, how to communicate, and how to stay calm even when you are unsure. It comes from time spent paying attention to your own growth. Preparation strengthens your ability to stay present when pressure rises. When my daughter stayed calm in her interview, it was not luck. It was the result of everything she had practiced along the way.

The Work No One Sees

A lot of students think success comes from one perfect moment, but the truth is that strong moments come from preparation that takes time and is cumlative. Preparation happens in the hours when you reread something because you want to understand it better. It happens when you rewrite an essay because you want your ideas to be clearer. It happens when you ask a real question because you want to learn, not just because you want to look smart. These choices stack up in ways you cannot see at first. They build the kind of strength that helps you show up ready when it counts.

The work you do when no one is watching becomes your foundation. It is what helps you stay steady when you face something new or unexpected. When an opportunity appears out of nowhere, it is the quiet work behind the scenes that decides whether you feel ready or overwhelmed. Those hours teach you how to stay focused even when your nerves kick in. They help you carry yourself in spaces that feel intimidating at first.

Students sometimes underestimate how much preparation changes things because the change is slow. But over time it shapes your voice, your patience, your confidence, and your ability to think under pressure. You begin to see challenges as things you can grow through instead of things that shrink you. Preparation helps you stay grounded even when expectations get higher. It lets you show up as your best self instead of scrambling to catch up at the last minute.

Stepping Through the Door

I always say the most interesting things in life are surprises. Opportunities show up at strange times. You cannot schedule them. You cannot pause them. You cannot ask them to wait until you feel ready. What you can do is prepare so that whenever something important comes your way, you have something solid to stand on. My daughter could not predict how her Ivy League interview would go, but she was ready because she had built the steady habits that made her feel grounded. That is what preparation does for you.

A lot of students hope they will rise to the moment just because they want to. Wanting is good, but wanting alone does not make you ready. Readiness is something you build slowly through repeated practice. It is the result of showing up for yourself again and again. It teaches you how to stay calm when everything feels high stakes. You become someone who can walk into new situations without losing your sense of who you are.

Stepping through a door is not about proving yourself to someone else. It is about recognizing that you put in the work long before the moment arrived. When you are prepared, you enter new spaces with curiosity instead of fear. You feel capable instead of intimidated. You feel like you belong because you invested in yourself before anyone else saw it. Preparation turns pressure into possibility.

For Every Student Finding Their Way

This message is not just for students applying to highly selective places. It is for anyone your age who feels the weight of expectations or fear about the future. College and high school students stepping into leadership roles, and young people figuring out life all face pressure that grows as they grow. Preparation gives you structure when everything else feels unpredictable. It helps you make choices with more confidence. It helps you bounce back when things do not go as planned.

Many students wonder whether their effort right now will matter later. It is normal to feel that way. But preparation reveals its value over time in the moments when you stay calm under pressure or give an answer you did not know you were capable of. It shows up when you walk into a room that used to scare you and realize you can handle it now. It changes how you move through the world, little by little.

No one can prepare for you, and that is what makes it powerful. Preparation is a sign that you believe in your own future, even when you cannot see every detail of it. It teaches you to take responsibility for your growth and your direction. It becomes part of the confidence you carry and the way you show leadership in your own life. Preparation stays with you long after a moment passes, and it shapes every moment that comes next.

Carrying the Lesson Forward

My daughter will keep growing and changing, just like every young person. She will face new challenges, and she will discover new strengths along the way. What I want for her, and for every student reading this, is the kind of confidence that comes from being ready inside yourself. Preparation gives you that kind of strength. It gives you something steady to lean on when the future feels uncertain. It helps you trust who you are becoming.

The effort you put in daily affects the way you think, the way you handle stress, and the way you make decisions. It shows up in how you respond to opportunities and how you move through setbacks. It builds a type of wisdom that grows with you rather than fading over time. It helps you stay grounded even when the world around you feels loud or overwhelming.

As you move forward, your life will bring you through doors that open wide and others that close before you reach them. You cannot control that part, no matter how hard you try, but you can control the preparation that makes you ready for whatever comes next. Preparation becomes the quiet force that walks beside you into every new situation, even the ones that feel unfamiliar or intimidating. It steadies you when everything around you feels different, uncertain, or overwhelming, and it gives you strength when challenges rise up and try to shake your confidence.

Preparation reminds you that you deserve to be in the rooms you enter, not as a guest, not as someone who got lucky, and not as an imposter, but as someone who earned their place step by step. When you prepare, you build a foundation that no one can take from you. You grow into a version of yourself that can handle moments you once feared. You develop the courage to walk toward opportunities instead of backing away from them.

And the most powerful part is this: preparation carries you far beyond the moment you think you are getting ready for. It lasts long after a single event ends. It becomes part of who you are. It becomes the strength you reach for when things get hard and the confidence you stand on when the world opens a door that leads somewhere bigger than you expected.


Julian Vasquez Heilig is a professor, educator, and public scholar who writes for everyone working in or alongside education while keeping the growth and potential of young people at the core of his mission. A graduate of Stanford University and the University of Michigan, he has spent more than two decades serving as an educator, researcher, civil rights leader, and university leader, and his work focuses on expanding opportunity, strengthening educational pathways, and helping communities create environments where students can thrive. He shares these reflections to support educators, families, leaders, and students themselves, offering guidance rooted in experience and a commitment to helping young people see what they are capable of becoming.

I am writing this for a student you know or someone you care about who is figuring out school, college, or the bigger question of who they want to become. If someone comes to mind as you read this, I hope you will send it to them, because sometimes the right message reaches someone at…

One response to “For Every Student Finding Their Way”

  1. gruntinthetrenches Avatar
    gruntinthetrenches

    ¡SI SE PUEDE!

    Like

Leave a comment

Cloaking Inequity is an online platform for justice and liberty-minded readers. I publish reflections, analysis, and commentary on education, democracy, culture, and politics.

Subscribe to stay informed whenever I publish new content. I never send spam, and you can unsubscribe anytime—no strings attached.

Go back

Your message has been sent

Email me at jvh@alumni.stanford.edu